I know the answer to the eternal question…

What comes first? The chicken or the egg?

The egg, because it cooks quicker…

Yes. At the age of 23 I have boiled my first egg.

This momentous occasion occured the day before yesterday. As mentioned previously my mother and Boyfriend as very hard working members of soicety who hold down full time jobs, so, to make up for the fact I get a lie in daily I have undertaken the task of making them daily packed lunches.

This is more difficult than it sounds when you have so little culinary finesse that you make everything and anything look unappetizing.

I do admit that my first egg was boiled under the careful supervision of Boyfriend and further aided by egg-cooking instructions and aid given by my father.

It was a fucking beautiful egg. The outside was firm, the middle just a touch gooey. They beautifully mashed themsevles into mayonasie and were liberally spread on bread. They were enjoyed, so much so my mother asked for the same tasty beauty in her lunch box the very next day.

This is where I overestimated my talents.

I decided to make egg and bacon sandwiches. This necessitated me coordinating the times of both pig and chicken period.

I set fire to the kitchen.

As much as I fancied the blonde girl in this years ‘Master-chef the professionals’ I fear I am destined to never reach their ranks.


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  1. #1 by Helen Anslow on December 26, 2011 - 11:08 pm

    Was there really kitchen fire? You do things with such pizzazz. (Yes I just used a word with four zs in it, here’s what wiktionary says about that – http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/pizzazz#English)

    • #2 by idrawlikenick on December 29, 2011 - 6:25 pm

      I am a pizzazz master, me..and yes, there really really WAS a kitchen fire. I flapped and screamed and hid in the garden while Boyfriend put it out by cleverly soaking a tea-towel in the sink. I have not used the hob since, I think I am developing a phobia…
      I think pizzazz is like a bejeweled pizza…a pizza with bling; ‘meat feast with diamonds please’
      I miss your pretty face, lots…come see me!!!!!! (I could come see you but that would mean intergrating with the real world and I am selfish and scared.) x x x x x

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