Lamps, Lighting, Pain Disorders and Depression

Sorry, I have been quiet.

When pain things and mood things decide to hold hands and jump out a high flying plane together I tend to go a bit mental.

I have been can’t-out-of-bed sad and look-like-a-twat-when-I-try-to-walk pain. Last night I had a headache that, I swear, was unlike anything I have ever felt before. It was no migraine. It was his bastard, thug father with bells on. Poor Boyfriend was lovely and has NHS Direct on Speed dial and was so worried he tried to bundle me off to a&e. I managed to get some sleep eventually after a lot of Tramadol and extra sleep meds…but, urgh. It was pretty scary, and I thought I was past the point of scared-at-my-stupid-bodyness. Maybe not.

Today I have an appointment with The Eating Woman. I totes do not want to see her. There is a small part of me that wishes my headache was so bad that I can’t sit up, as then i’d have a reason not to go. (and I do wonder if that is why the bastard thing originated in the first place, as some fucked up kind of ‘superman headache’ that wanted to rescue me from the life I do not want to attend too anymore while also causing me as much discomfort as possible.)

On the plus side I finally got around to buying some new stuff for the room Boyfriend and I share. It used to belong to my brother. He likes action man. The curtains were camouflaged, the furniture stained dark green and covered in action-man type stickers. The bedding and carpet a dark brown…I’ll take photos of new ‘updated’ room but here are some things I really really wanted to put in it..

I want it!!!!!!!!

I think this is the first time in my life I have got excited about lighting. But – Look At That Lamp! I like tea cups, I like pretty china, I amstill somewhat confused by the fact I like pink and girly, but it seems to be true of my decor tastes…put simply…I wannnnnt thhhaaaat Laaaaaaaaaamp! (aand the sofa and All The Stuff Now Please Ta)

So, i wouldn’t have a room totally like the above…(a)there is no ashtray I can see and (b) it is just a wee bit too ‘Laura Ashley (that is ignoring the fact i’d never afford stuff from Laura Ashley anyway..)

but mine is a bit based on that..just, with an ashtray..and less money..and stuff

I did however, find amazing bedside lamps, which, sort of quelled my ‘omgiwanttheexpensivelamp’ tantrum. Mostly because they look like pets. And because I have the idea that no-one else would actually re-home them…(by re-home I obviously mean ‘put in thier room’ and am not at all personifying a lamp)…

it's a lamp pet!!!

He is currently in the post. 🙂 I am hoping he will arrive in a box full of foam curl things, because they are exciting. Boyfriend agreed I could have him/the lamps as long as I bought him a green-shelled one for his side of the bed. Boyfriend has already named his Derek, yet claims to be unexcited about his impending arrival..

Dereks brother (as Derek is in the post)

I realise that these lamps may not give that much light…but…y’know, i am pretty proud that I am in a Adult Mindset where I am actually excited about bedside lighting and do not really care how much of the stuff the give out..they look like Tortoises, that is all I need.

Another step into ‘adulthood’ … I ordered my mum something off Debenhams website the other day and wrote a review. In my mind writing reviews for websites on ‘grown up stuff’ (like lamps, and in this case, placemats) is really grown up and takes a dedication to the buying-stuff cause.

Anyway. I shall post poor quality photos of my room soon, unless of course The Eating Woman eats me or locks me in a cupboard or prevents me from leaving the tin-caravan I see her in. I am hoping to see if I can see Shrink Man today as well as the lack of mood meds may be better for my liver and kidneys…but no-one can bear to stay in my presence and I can’t really remember the last day that I did not have to put up with my head thinking stupid thoughts about hurting myself or doing Bad Things.

A blog post about mood disorders, The Eating Woman and can tell I plan these posts, eh?

(Oh, Rosemarie, thank you so much for the nomination, I need to work out how to post it, which I will do when am not supposed to already be dressed and heading to appointment, thank you so much)






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